If Love Could Speak
by mikaylazebra
Summary: Alot of people take talking for granted. I'm sure I would too. If I could talk in the first place. Real summary inside. AH,AU,
1. Preface

**Summary: Bella has a stuttering problem and moves to Forks, Washington to get treated by Dr. Carlisle Cullen-Speetch specialist. While there, she meets a boy named Edward, who will change everything.**

**give it a chance please!**

EPOV

I wasn't looking for love,

Nor did I ever expect it.

It seemed to difficult and hard to keep.

But love found me,

In the strangest way.

I never asked for her,

But she still came.

I couldn't stop her.

I wouldn't stop her.

And I would continue

to let her knock on my door 3 times every morning.


	2. Changes

**Hi! this is my first fanfic ever, and I would really appreciate if you read and reviewed!**

_I move on to another day, to a whole new town with a whole new way.  
Went to the porch to have a thought.  
Got to the door and again, I couldn't stop.  
You don't know where and you don't know when.  
But you still got your words and you got your friends.  
Walk along to another day..._

_-The world at large by Modest Mouse_

**EPOV**

It was January, the worst time in Forks. It snowed or rained almost everyday, and the sun rarely came out. Today, the sky was a deep gray and it was misting outside. The air was so crisp it hurt to inhale. I was sitting by the fireplace, trying to warm my numb fingers after pushing Alice's car all the way home. Of course she's not the type of person who calls AAA, because she refuses to get into a tow truck with some overweight, perverted guy. So she decided to call me instead, since I live right next door to her anyways. I hopped into my Volvo and drove to the school, which was a mere quarter mile away from our houses. As soon as I pulled up she threw herself into the passenger side of my car and turned the heat to high. Her petite body was shivering slightly and her teeth were chattering. As I got out of the car, I inhaled sharply and shuddered. Why the fuck does it have to be this cold in the winter? I just needed to get this over with. I stalked over to her bright as hell yellow Porsche and looked under the hood.

_Who in their right mind would drive a Porsche in Forks? Oh right, Alice Brandon, that's who._

I was having no luck trying to find what was wrong with her car. So I slammed the hood down and walked over to Alice. I was pissed as hell right now, because I was freezing my ass off and she wasn't helping with the car at all. I tapped on the glass a little louder and harder than I anticipated, while Alice glared up at me. What a bitch. Here I was helping her out, using my free time to fucking fix her car, and she glares at me!

"A-A-Alice! W-w-why couldn't Jazz help y-y-you out?" I sputtered. She smiled. Probably because she knew I was suffering. She cleared her throat. "He lives further away then you do. And why would I put him through all this trouble, when you owe me?" She stated, quirking an eyebrow at me for added effect. "Well your car isn't going to start. Let's just leave it in the parking lot, and maybe someone else will find it and save us the trouble of pushing it back to the house." I said with a hint of sarcasm. Alice didn't like it. At all. She climbed over to the drivers side seat, put the car in drive, and yelled, "Thanks for pushing my car back Edward!" as she sped off.

_Shit._

I ran a hand through my unruly hair and immediately dialed Emmet's cell phone number. I told him to get his ass to Forks High, no questions asked. I waited around a couple of minutes, shirting uncomfortably from foot to foot. I thanked god when Emmet flew into the parking lot and stopped the Jeep. He rolled down the window and gave me a questioning look. I put my index finger up and motioned him to come over the Porsche. I lead the way to the frozen car and walked towards the trunk. I placed both of my hands firmly on the back of it, cursing at how cold it was, and told Emmett, "Steer the car while I push."

Emmett burst into loud hysterics.

_Emmett, this isn't going to be that hilarious when you're going to be suffering just as much as I did in a few minutes if you don't shut the fuck up._

I simply said, "Want me to take your Jeep home, while you freeze your ass off here?" He stiffened and was quiet immediately. I started pushing, while he grabbed onto the wheel to steer. Cars slowed as they watched a Porsche being pushed down Division Street. We ignored their stares because we knew what they were thinking. As I got tired of pushing and Emmett finally decided to use his broad strength we started switching every 10 minutes or so.

Emmett still had a puzzled look on his face when I looked back at him so I decided to tell him why we were pushing Alice's car and why Alice was nowhere in sight. I explained to him that Alice is not one for tow trucks nor does she like to freeze to death. He started laughing loudly again when I told him how she drove off.

After about an hour of numb hands and feet, we steered the car into Alice's driveway. _Finally._ My Volvo was in parked in my driveway next door. Oh how sweet, Alice finally decided to do me a favor. We knocked on Alice's door and told her to call a mechanic because she put us through enough and she should watch her back. She laughed and slammed the door in our faces. Not one "thank you." _Sure Alice, anytime. Next time just call me when you want a nice slap in the face, not a human tow truck_. Emmett and I ran to the Volvo, started it up and headed back to the school for the third time today. I thanked Emmett profusely as he swiftly got out of the car and climbed into his. And then I went home. Hopefully for the rest of this bitter day.

**BPOV**

Another unsuccessful therapy session the story of my life. Why can't the words in my head come out of my mouth in the same pattern? I know it's been a part of my whole life so far, but I've done the research. I was supposed to outgrow it a while ago. I'm Bella though, and everything goes wrong in my life. I'm 17 and haven't had a best friend, a boyfriend, a first kiss. I haven't even been invited to a birthday party, except for the ones for people in my speech class. I go to school, go to my daily speech session, then I go home. Everyday, since kindergarten it seems.

As I was approaching my truck, a familiar chime rang from my handbag. I pulled out my cell phone and realized Renee had sent me a text. I had become one for loving text messaging, since it was so hard for me to talk on the phone. When I read it, my heart almost stopped from enthusiasm.

_Honey, the speech doctor has accepted your request to see him. We leave for Forks in 3 days!_

Three months ago I had sent a letter to the #1 speech doctor in the Nation. He is known for "curing" speech problems. Even though there isn't a cure, he knows how to help apparently. I was jumping up and down with glee. I couldn't wait. This is what I've been waiting for. I got home in the nick of time and began packing. 3 days. 3 days until another no good doctor? Or 3 days until the beginning of speaking normally? Lets hope for the latter.

Renee got home an hour or so after I did. She called for me and told me to meet her in the living room in 10 minutes.

As I sat on the brown leather couch waiting for Renee, I was doing another research on the doctor. He seemed legit, and most of his patients have been extremely satisfied. Thank god. Renee walked in and sat across from me on the recliner. I could feel her staring at me, probing me with her eyes. She probably knew I was doing another research on the doctor. I didn't want to fail again.

"What do you have to say about this Bella?"

"W-well I I I am re-really haaaaapy."

Of course she had to ask me to speak. I shyly slid further down into the couch cushion and tried to look interested in my desktop image. My mom interrupted and tried to make me feel better. _It's not going to work Renee, when does it ever?_ I thought bitterly.

"Bella, it's okay to speak, you have to be confident because the doctor is going to want you to speak. He has to do research of his own on you. And you know this. So please don't be afraid to talk."

I began to speak again but my mouth just gaped. I had the words in my head they were clear as day. I closed my mouth, blinked furiously, and opened my mouth again. The words came out this time, but they were still jumbled.

"S-s-sorry mom. I I'm just um neeeeervous."

I pursed my lips. My arm twitched and I sat up a little straighter. I was so over these talks with my mom. It was the same one every time I got a new doctor. I just wanted to be better already. I wanted a new life and most of all I wanted to be happy.

**A/N Thank you for reading! Please review, I would love to hear what you think about the chapters! Thanks!**


	3. Greetings

**Thanks to everyone who's still reading! Please leave a review to tell me what you think so far! thanks to nikkaayy95 for her major betaing skills!**

_Jesus Christ, that's a pretty face  
The kind you'd find on someone that could save..._

_Do you believe you're missing out  
That everything good is happening somewhere else?  
But with nobody in your bed  
The night's hard to get through_

_And I will die all alone  
And when I arrive I won't know anyone_

_Well Jesus Christ, I'm alone again  
So what did you do those three days you were dead?  
Cause this problem's gonna last more than the weekend._

_-Jesus christ by brand new_

**EPOV**

I woke up on Friday morning to Carlisle knocking on my door. I looked over at my clock and it was 5:56am. Four minutes before my alarm is supposed to go off. This better be fucking good. Those minutes count dammit. I ran my fingers through my crazed hair and sat up. "Come in." I said groggily. Carlisle walked in slowly and sat on the black leather couch that was on the other side of my room. He had a folder in his hand with the name Isabella Swan written neatly across the front. It was most likely another patient that he had an appointment with today. I rubbed my eyes intently and then glared at Carlisle.

He cleared his throat and explained to me that the girl, Bella Swan, was moving next door and she was his new patient. He told me that she'd be over everyday after school, and that I should try to become friends with her.

What the hell? Carlisle has never asked me to become friends with a patient. I mean, sure I've been with these stuttering people before. I've even learned to understand them clearly. Carlisle is a speech therapist, and he's basically cured every person that's come to him for help. But still. Why do I have to be friends with her? At least wait until she's here, so I can meet her. Wait when will she be here?

Apparently I have no fucking brain filter at this time of morning and asked my last question aloud. Carlisle answered, "Her flight takes off from Phoenix at 7:15am today and she'll be over here at 6:30 tonight." I just shook my head. "Do I have to be here tonight? It's Friday and I already made plans with Tanya." Tanya was my girlfriend of 3 months. Carlisle nodded, "You can introduce yourself then be on your way." My alarm went off suddenly and I jumped. I lazily hit the snooze button and told Carlisle I'll be home at 6:00 tonight and then I'm leaving as soon as I meet the 'new patient'. He scolded me and told me to call her Bella.

Like there's a fucking difference.

I got dressed quickly and headed to school. As I pulled into the schools parking lot, I spotted Emmett and Rosalie talking to Jasper and Alice. They were all so in love, it was sickening. I parked my car, walked over and told them about the new patient. Oh, I meant Bella. Wait, I don't care remember? The bell rang and we went our separate ways. The day ended as soon as it began. I really didn't want to go home because I knew the new girl patient was next door moving in. So would I come home to have Carlisle force me to help her move in? No. I went over to Jazz's instead. When I got there Alice was pulling in also. Our eyes met as we were parking and she stuck her tongue out at me. I chuckled lightly. She's so childish, I swear. We didn't speak to each other when we got to Jazz's porch and she rang the doorbell. When he opened it, I had to look away for at least 2 minutes. It was a fucking tongue frenzy. After they were satisfied with themselves, I walked in and fell onto his suade couch. Alice sat down next to Jazz on the love seat across from me, and couldn't keep her mouth shut about the new girl moving in 2 doors down. Then it hit me, she's talking about the new girl patient...Bella or whatever. God dammit, I came over here to get away from that mess. How did she even find out about her anyways?

I kept looking at the clock on the wall every 20 minutes or so, until it was 5:45. I had to head home now or else Carlisle would kill me. I told Alice not to get her hopes up about the new girl, and told Jazz I'd be over here everyday after school for the next year. He laughed at me and shook Alice lightly. I got in the car and started on my way home to meet Bella.

BPOV

I was sitting on the floor of my new room, on my laptop, looking up classes at the new school I'd be attending-Forks High. It was already second semester and I had completed honors classes back in Phoenix with A's, so I decided to try taking a different set. But not speech ones like, Spanish or French. I would surely make a fool of myself in those. I picked my classes quickly and shut down my laptop.

I was supposed to go meet the doctor, who conviently lived next door, in less than 10 minutes. I decided to show up a little early, so I grabbed my purse, headed out and walked next door. The house was gorgeous. White paneling, with at least 3 stories to it. I walked up to the door, the thick dark wood intimidating me. I really wasn't sure what to expect from this doctor. I knocked 3 times, and took 2 steps back. I heard muffled voices from behind the door. Oh no, there's another person? I shook the fear off quickly and the door flew open.

A tall, lean man with blonde hair, blue eyes, and a flawless face stood before me. He looked to be at least 32. I smiled shyly and he held his hand out motioning me into the door. I followed his hand and stepped inside the vast room. I turned to him as he closed the door, and he introduced himself.

"Hello Miss Swan, I am Dr. Carlisle Cullen."

"H-h-Hi" I managed to get out, throwing him a small smile.

He told me to sit down on the leather couch in the living room. I was about to sit down when another tall, lean person caught my eye. He was standing in the hallway leading to the kitchen, leaning against the wall in his black leather jacket and scuffed doc marten glory. He had stunning green eyes, very messy bronze hair, and stubble along his perfect angular jaw. He threw me a dazzling crooked smile and I looked away shyly when our eyes met. Then Dr. Cullen called him over.

"Edward, please come meet Bella."

He walked over, nodded his head slightly, and said in a velvety voice, "Hello Bella, I'm Edward Cullen, It's nice to finally meet you."

"Um um Heeelloo. N-nice to meeet you Eeeeeedward."

I blushed furiously and sat down with my head in my hands. Edward chuckled. He's laughing at me? What a complete jerk! A completely gorgeous jerk... Edward walked away and told me to have a nice night while waving over his shoulder. He also told Carlisle he'd be home around 2am. Why so late?

Carlisle closed the door behind Edward and sat down on the chair by the couch. I looked at him for a moment, until Carlisle asked me to tell him about myself. There's not much to tell, just that I am the most boring person alive. All I want is to speak normal. I just want to be happy for once. I told him exactly that. "W-w-well I um juuuust wa-want to to be haapppy."  
He nodded and beckoned me to continue. I told him my life story. From the name calling, the long nights crying, no friends, a life full of therapy and speech classes, and how I tried to kill myself. This seemed like any other session really.  
Before I knew it, it was 7:30 and he concluded our session. He told me to have Renee come over whenever she got the chance, because he had a few things to talk to her about. He said he probably needs to run a few tests on me, and will discuss with Renee on brain surgery.  
I thanked him profusely and stepped out into the furious cold weather.


	4. Unconsciousness

**A/N**: This whole story started out as a joke with nikkaayy95 and me. We were discussing Kristen stewarts horrible acting and studdering problems and making jokes, but then i realized people really DO have studdering issues and have to deal with not talking normally everyday. I am very much into this story now. I love it and I hope all you readers are enjoying just as much as I am.

_I like songs about drifters - books about the same.  
They both seem to make me feel a little less insane.  
Walked on off to another spot.  
I still haven't got anywhere that I want.  
Did I want love? Did I need to know?  
Why does it always feel like I'm caught in an undertow?_

_-The world at large by modest mouse_

**BPOV**

I inhaled swiftly and began tapping my fingers on top of my closed laptop. I was uncomfortable in my empty room, and I hated that I had nothing else to do but think. Forks was a good thing and maybe something better will come out of this. Not just better speech but something even better. I began daydreaming, thinking of life in this town if I could speak clearly. I would have friends, I would have a boyfriend, and go to parties, just like any other 17 year old. I sighed loudly and shook my head, clearing the ridiculous thoughts out of my head. It was Friday night still, and Renee had left for Dr. Cullen's house as soon as I got home. So I had free time. A lot of it. I hopefully didn't have to talk to Renee about my session until tomorrow morning. I wonder what Renee and Dr. Cullen were talking about right now? Was it good…or bad?

I had to get the bad thoughts off of my mind, so I started unpacking. The moving truck left with our stuff the day before we left and got here around 11 today. I stood up went to the living room, and grabbed a box with my name on it.

Renee walked in the door as I was finishing the last box to my room. I was exhausted. I looked at the clock, it was only 9:45. I was curious as to what Renee had discussed tonight, but my thoughts steered the other way when my stomach grumbled. Better get some food, since I haven't eaten since 3:00 today. It grumbled once again before I went downstairs to the kitchen.

Renee was sitting at the dining table signing papers when I walked in. Papers? For what? I made myself a bowl quick bowl of cereal, and poured myself a glass of water. Renee quickly looked up at me as I entered the dining room, and I took a seat next to her. Guess the talk will have to be tonight, I thought as she continued glancing through the text then signing the bottom with her quick, spiky signature.

I glanced at the top of the sheet. My eyes widened and my stomach flipped over. Brain Surgery. Honestly, surgery scared me to death. The blood, the wound, and knifes made me cringe to an extent. I couldn't help but ask questions. What if something goes wrong? What if it doesn't help me? I shivered slightly when Renee asked me what was wrong. I guess she could tell I was freaked out. I looked at her with wide, worried eyes and said, "W-what if the Braaaain S-s-surgery doooesn't w-work?"

Renee came closer and hugged me. She whispered lightly, "Bella you have to think positive. Always think positive." I nodded lightly and was tearing up a little. But this was why I moved to Forks right? Yes, you will get fixed, I kept reassuring myself. I pushed my cereal away, suddenly having no appetite, and went to the sink to clean it out. I placed it in the dishwasher and walked back over to Renee. I placed a soft kiss on her cheek and said, "G-g-gooodnight."

It was 10:30 when I walked back into my room. The movers had placed my mattress in the corner nearest to the window. I quickly made my bed with clean sheets and fluffy pillows. I lay my head down gently and glanced out the window, coming face to face with another window belonging to the Cullens'.

**EPOV**

Pulling up to Tanya's house and parking my Volvo, I saw that every window in the house was lit up. You could see a few people in the windows: dancing, holding beers, or making out. Typical 'Tanya' house party. As I got out of my car and walked to the door, I made sure to hit the lock button about 4 times on my keys. You can never trust these fucking druggies.

I walked up the steps towards the front door, and let myself in. My eyes fell on the drink table and I was in awe at all the alcohol Tanya got a hold of. I poured myself a quick shot of Vodka, knocked it back, and loving the feel of the burn run down my throat. I quickly grabbed a beer can, and went to find Tanya.

She was perched at the top of the stairs, talking to one of her sisters, Carmen. I stopped a few stairs below them and waited for them to conclude their conversation. Not wanting to interrupt since I'm such a gentleman. I snorted out loud at the thought of that. Tanya turned to me, a slow grin spreading across her face. "You ready for tonight Edward?" she said seductively. Or at least she thought it was. I nodded my head slightly and grabbed her waist, giving her a quick kiss.

Tanya grabbed my hand and led me to the den downstairs. When she opened the door a plume of smoke whirled out. I smiled widely, knowing that I'll be inhaling my favorite substance soon. I looked around the room, and on the couches sat her siblings and a few other people smoking. I grabbed the blunt out of Kate's hand, and took a long pull from it. Smiling I blew out the smoke watching it twirl in the air, and passed the joint to Tanya. I grinned at her, and gave her a fake, cheesy wink. I never felt bad about the fact that I use Tanya for drugs, sex, and alcohol. I couldn't help it though. This is how I lived for since the age of 14.

I don't even know how long we were in the den for, or how many times I rolled another blunt, or how many times that blunt got passed in a circle. All I knew was that I was pretty fucked up. I was getting cotton mouth really fast, and I needed a beer or something to drink. I asked Tanya what she wanted and got up slowly, not wanting to lose my footing by getting dizzy. I headed to the drink table and grabbed two cans of red bull, a bottle of Jager, two cups, and two shot glasses.

I went back to Tanya, and she smiled. This was her favorite drink. I put both cups next to eat other, and poured in 1 full can of red bull in each. Tanya handed me the Jager bottle already uncapped, while I set the one shot glass in front of each cup. I muttered a small thanks to her, grabbed the bottle, and poured the shots. I grabbed the cup in my right hand and shot in my left, and I saw out of the corner of my eye that Tanya did the same. I turned towards her and smiled. "1, 2...3!" I dropped the shot glass into the cup of red bull and brought it to my lips.

I chugged the Jager bomb rather fast, Tanya only halfway done. I winked at her yet again, and I walked back out to the kitchen. The counter was cleared off and Mike Newton and a few other guys from school were smoking out of a glass pipe. But it wasn't pot. I decided to join in and have a few hits of the glass. I felt really good after.

I fumbled to the couch after a while, holding my 5th drink. I glanced at my phone it said it was 11:52 already. Where did the time go? Oh right, into pot, meth, and alcohol. Oh well, guess that's what always happens at parties anyways. I was taking a greedy gulp of my beer when I felt someone sit down on my lap. My vision was slightly blurry, but when I saw her teal eyes I knew it was Tanya. I gave her a quick smile, while she giggled drunkenly. She leaned forward and whispered in my ear, "I want to go upstairs." I smiled, set my drink down and scooped her up. I ran upstairs in record time and found her room. I set her down on the bed and locked the door behind me.

An hour later I sat up in bed, we were tangled in the sheets and Tanya was out cold. I laughed quietly. This was nothing new. It was the same routine at her parties. Drink, smoke, have sex, and then I go home. She will never find me lying next to her when she wakes up in the morning. I never do that shit. The question I would have to answer tomorrow when she calls me will be, "What happened last night?" Then I'd have to come over and give her a play by play and also help clean up the mess from the night before. Not really my thing. I got out of bed, got dressed and headed back downstairs. I waved to what was left of the party and closed the front door behind me.

I stumbled down the steps and found my way to the Volvo. I got in and slowly drove home, not wanting to crash in my drunken and high state or get a speeding ticket.

I walked in the door at 2:02, noticing Carlisle and Esme were already asleep. I immediately went upstairs and got in the shower, not wanting Carlisle knowing everything I did tonight. I stepped out of the shower and slipped into blue flannel pants. I slid under the soft covers and fell into deep unconsciousness.


	5. Windows

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer completely owns Twilight and all it's characters! I claim none of it! thanks for reading!**

_We all grow old,  
And before you swim you gotta be ok to sink.  
Earth to Bella,  
The world can be an unfriendly place.  
So hold your head up  
And do your best to save some face.  
It's not so hard...  
Just undo yourself and see a  
Second sun ascend._

_-earth to bella by incubus_

**BPOV**

I woke up Saturday morning to a dull gray sky. The weather here was hard to get used too, as I am used to the harsh heat and bright sun of Phoenix. I decided to make breakfast, hoping it would take my mind off of things. I went to the bathroom to comb the knots out of my hair and quickly brush my teeth.

When I was done I roamed towards the kitchen.

I was beginning to cook the bacon when I heard Renee stumble into the kitchen. I looked up at the stove's clock and realized it was already 9:45. I turned to her and gave her a tiny smile. "G-g-good mooorning mom." I said.

"Good morning yourself," she said, "Can I help with anything?"

I laughed, "Iiif you waaant t-toast you caan s-s-start um that?" She nodded, looked around for the loaf of bread in the pantry, and then popped four slices into the toaster. I finished up the bacon, and began setting the table. I put the eggs, bacon, toast, butter, juice, and coffee in the middle of the table, and asked Renee if she wanted anything else. She shook her head and she seemed pleased with the display. We sat and ate in silence for a while, when Renee suddenly spoke, "I have a few interviews in town today and I won't be home until after 5pm or so." I nodded curtly and wished her luck.

We finished up breakfast and Renee cleaned the kitchen for me. I thanked her and she headed upstairs to start getting ready for her day. I walked to my room and sat down on my bed. _What can I do for the rest of the day?_ I sat there thinking for a while. I Wish I could drive around but ihad no clue where my truck was.

I quickly walked to Renee's door and knocked gently. She opened a few seconds later, her hair was damp and she had a very confused look on her face. "Mom, w-where is my uhh truckkk?" Her eyes widened and she said softly, "I sold it so we could afford your tests and possibly your surgery." My heart sunk, But I nodded with tears in my eyes and turned away.

That truck was my life. How am I supposed to get to school everyday? Or just drive myself around? I couldn't always rely on Renee. I was going to be isolated in this house everyday now. I can see the routine beginning already. School, Dr. Cullen's, then home. No drives, or outings with my possible friends. I dragged my feet to my room, with my head down. This can't be happening. Forks was supposed to be a good thing. I was supposed to become happy and not have to worry about anything anymore. But when was life ever fair to me anyways?

**EPOV**

I dug deeper into the bed as the sky got a little brighter. I knew it wasn't night anymore, but I didn't want to get out of bed. I felt horrible. I had a throbbing headache and my stomach whirled. I reached over to my bedside table grabbed the aspirin from the second drawer and swallowed two pills dry, too lazy to look for water. I winced as I got up to brush my teeth. I had a horrible taste in my mouth and it was making me more nauseated than I already was.

I wobbled back to the bed and saw that it was only 11:15am. I am going to catch two more hours of sleep. Hopefully the headache would be gone by then. I threw my head down on the pillow and stuck the other one on top of my head to block out any sounds and light.

A little while later I awoke abruptly. I threw off the pillow covering my head, sitting up quickly. The room was spinning and I suddenly got up and ran for the toilet. _Hangovers are the worst._ I wiped my mouth and went to the sink and rinsed my face with cold water. I felt a little better getting that shit out of my system.

I went downstairs and I heard a muffled voice from Carlisle's office. I heard something about someone not having a truck. I didn't find the conversation interesting, so I went to the kitchen, and opened up our stocked fridge. I grabbed a bottle of water and tenderly sipped from it, not wanting to upset my stomach even more. I headed to the foyer to see what Carlisle was doing to find him pacing.

"Carlisle is everything okay?" I asked a little bit concerned.

"I'm not sure, Renee just called me," he answered, "Bella doesn't have her truck anymore Renee sold it and she didn't realize Bella would have to drive herself to school."

"And?" I asked, knowing where this was going.

"Would you mind driving her to and from school Edward?" he asked his eyes pleading.

"Umm, I guess. I mean it won't be for that long right? Just until she gets another car?" I responded.

"Yes, Renee is hoping to buy her car by April. Alice was supposed to drive her, but her car is in the shop. And Jasper is driving Alice to school for now. But thank you so much Edward. Bella and Renee will be very thankful." He said relieved.

"You're just lucky that she lives next door and that Tanya gets her own ride to school." I concluded, rolling my eyes and walking upstairs.

I sat down on my bed, trying to figure out how I can get Bella to school without Tanya noticing her getting out of my car. If anything goes wrong, I'd just have to explain to Tanya, and maybe accept a slap in the face. Since she's such a jealous bitch. I sat down on my couch and glanced out my window. I noticed a girl sitting on her bed crying. It was Bella? I couldn't forget those brown locks of hair. Plus she lived next door so it would be a logical explanation. To my surprise, I was concerned for her. What could be wrong? She wiped her eyes and looked over towards my window. Then she saw me, and it seemed as if she lost her breath. She looked away immediately. I couldn't take my eyes away. I thought about opening my window and trying to get her to talk to me. But I ignored that, and thought, what could I do for her? I decided to just walk away. There's nothing that I can do for her. No way to communicate. I went to my nightstand and grabbed my car keys. I was going to go for a drive and hopefully Bella wouldn't be in my window when I got back.


	6. Smiles

**A/N: So sorry I haven't updated in so long, lots of things have happened in RL and my beta, Nikkaayy95, moved across country and didn't have internet and...yeah. Thanks so much for reading! Reviews are very much appreciated.**

_Walk a little farther to another plan.  
You said that you did, but you didn't understand._

_I know that starting over is not what life's all about.  
But my thoughts were so loud, I couldn't hear my mouth.  
My thoughts were so loud, I couldn't hear my mouth.  
My thoughts were so loud..._

_-The world at large by modest mouse_

**BPOV**

After Renee left for her interviews I spent the rest of my day in my room depressed. My truck was gone. I was isolated in the damn house. I have too many problems for a normal 17 year old girl to deal with. What I need most is for this surgery to work and to really be happy. My pillowcase was soaked when I sat up. I was holding my head in my hands swallowing my sobs away and trying to think happy thoughts.

Then I felt someone's eyes on me, which was weird because that never happens. I knew Renee wasn't home and I was the only one in my room. I wiped my eyes and I glanced around. No one there. I turned to lay back down, but looked out the window first. I saw green eyes and my heart pumped harder in my chest then usual. His face looked concerned and his brow was furrowed. Was he concerned for me? Why would he care about me? I stared back a little longer than I intended. When I realized this I blushed and looked away immediately. I gazed through my hair to see if he had left, but he was still staring at me. Well, this is getting strange.

I tried to busy myself by looking around my room, but still felt his gaze on me after several minutes. I looked towards my window, but he was gone. I felt relieved, but I also felt alone. I really wanted to know why his face looked that way. Pity? Remembrance? He couldn't know what I was going through right now. Could he?

My stomach grumbled loudly and brought me back to reality. I haven't eaten since breakfast, and Renee should be getting home soon. I decided to cook myself an early dinner and wait for Renee's arrival. I stood in the kitchen trying to decide what to prepare. We didn't have much food in the house, just the basics. I was somewhat happy to cook tonight. I was always fond of cooking. I preheated the oven and started preparing dinner knowing Renee would be satisfied.

Just as I pulled the lasagna out of the oven an hour later, Renee walked in the door. Her nose was bright red, and I could tell she didn't like the weather here either. I noticed that she started sniffing the air, the smell leading her to the kitchen where I was standing. She walked over and stood behind me, a happy sigh escaping her when she saw it was lasagna.

Her blue eyes twinkled as she sat down at the dining table. "I'm starving!" she exclaimed. I stifled a laugh, and sat the lasagna in the middle of the table along with two plates and forks.

"H-how did the um i-inteeeerviewws go?" I asked while scooping out a piece of lasagna for myself.

She smiled widely, "I most likely got the job at the bank." She replied, "I know it's not my kind of job, but the manager was so sweet, and it'll put food on the table!"

I nodded. "T-that's greeeat mooom!"

"Oh, and one of my co-workers invited us to a Pampered Chef party tomorrow." She added.

My eyes grew wide and I didn't know what to say. Renee definitely noticed this and she nudged me.

"Honey, you don't have to talk in front of everyone, it's just kitchen utensils and a bunch of grown women gossiping. There's nothing to worry about."

"O-okay I I'll gooo."

She jumped up and down in her seat like she was a kid again. I haven't been out in public with her in almost a year. I was sort of excited. At least I get to drive around the town and actually see where I'm living. We finished the rest of our dinner in silence but the smile on Renee's face never faded. I couldn't help but smile with her.

**EPOV**

I was speeding down the street trying to clear my head. I couldn't help but worry for Bella. It was pissing me the fuck off really. If I had no control over her sadness, I need to stop fucking worrying so much. Then I started thinking of her big brown eyes. They were so captivating. My mind took over and I began driving back to the house. Before I realized it I was sitting in my room again looking out my window. The light in her room was off, Bella nowhere in sight. My face and heart dropped, but what was I expecting? If anything she thinks I'm a nutcase for staring at her today.

I haven't been worried for a patient-or anyone really-in the longest time. I knew first-hand they would all be better in time. But Bella, I could tell she's been suffering for far too long. She's worried about Carlisle I suppose. I've been worried about doctors before, it only took three doctors to cure me though. I wonder how many it's been for Bella.

I had so many questions for her just waiting to be asked. It was like I wanted to know everything about her. And possibly fuck her. But still. Luckily, I would be able to see her Monday morning and hopefully get a few of these questions answered. But what if she doesn't like questions being asked? What if she won't even talk to me? I should've thought this shit through before expecting answers from a girl that doesn't even know me.

I was sitting on the black leather couch, head in hands, bickering with myself, when a flick of light from my window caught my eye. I rushed to the window like a fucking stalker, and caught Bella walking in, a smile plastered on her face. Sweet relief flooded through me as she skipped to her closet and fiddled with the clothes hanging. Out of nowhere, her smile fell and her brow furrowed. What could be wrong now? I was on the edge of my seat my nose almost touching the window. Cut it out Edward! I flew back to my couch, hoping she didn't see me acting like a douche just now, and took a deep breath. I really need to get a fucking life.

I was looking down at me knees, when I decided to give her room one last look. My head shot up, and she was standing right in the middle of her room. She looked terrified, like she'd just seen a ghost or some shit.

But then she smiled at me. My eyes widened, my breath stolen from my lungs from how beautiful her smile really was. Perfect white teeth, perfect pink pouty mouth, perfect...everything really.

_Gee, I wonder if my vagina is showing yet._

I gave her a quick grin and waved, probably looking like a complete dork. Her eyes bulged, but her smiled became wider. She nodded, held up a finger as if to say, "wait one second", and spun on her heel heading towards a door on her left.

Even though she had left the room, my smile never faded. I had just made a small conversation with Bella. Without saying one word to her. Everything has to start somewhere right?

**BPOV**

I cleaned the dishes quickly, and headed back to my room. I still had on the goofy smile from dinner. I was about to go on my laptop to check my email, when I realized I needed to find something to wear tomorrow for the Pampered Chef party. I almost skipped to my closet but I stopped myself. I opened the doors and my face fell. I have nothing to wear. There has to be something in here! I was rummaging though the few clothing items that were on hangers, and was about to give up when I spotted my dark blue, V-Neck sweater. Surely I would be warm with this and the over sized jacket Charlie had given me before I left. I grabbed my only pair of jeans and set out my outfit for tomorrow.

I walked out of my closet and felt a gaze on me again. Out of the corner of my eye I saw the window next door was illuminated. I turned slowly towards the window and noticed a figure sitting down on a couch, looking down at his knees. My heart started pumping faster once I saw the bronze mess of hair.

Edward's head shot up and his green eyes looked right at me; into me. I couldn't move, I wanted to do the cowardly thing and run away, but his eyes and face looked so happy. I decided to do something, anything, to make this less awkward. My face twitched a little before I threw him a toothy grin. His eyes widened and he gave me a gorgeous crooked grin back and added a wave. I had to bite my lip to stop myself from giggling like a little girl. I wanted to be bold and talk to him, without stuttering, but didn't know how to. After a few seconds of thinking I finally got it. A bigger smile consumed my face and I held up a finger, silently telling him "one second". He grinned back at me, the corners of his eyes creasing, and nodded slightly. I ran out of my door and went to the office across the hall in search of a black sharpie and a notebook.


End file.
